Letter to My First Love

Dear first love,

I remember the first time we met

You had the most mesmerizing chocolate skin I had ever seen, fresh braids, deep dimples, and when you looked at me you winked.

That wink made my heart flutter and I knew right then it was yours

From that moment on I was caught up in your magic.

You gave me so many experiences.

Experiences that would be life lessons before I even had the chance to get a taste of life.

As you know my mother was very strict, with me being the babygirl and all.

Most of my days were spent awaiting my free time out of the house to spend with you.

Therefore, I took the good with the bad thinking we’d be together forever.

So much so that I gave you the one thing I cherish the most. The one thing that was meant for my husband.

And just as fast as it started, it was over.

So hurt I told myself I would never love again.

Now that I have traveled the world and settled down,

I must thank you

Thank you for breaking my heart

Thank you for giving me everything I never wanted in a relationship

Thank you for filling my mind with so much self doubt that I questioned my ability to choose the right kind of man

Thank you for almost turning me into the one person I said I would never be

Thank you for breaking what was already broken

And most importantly

Thank you for walking away

I doubt I had the strength to do so on my own

It was the most selfless thing I have ever seen you do

Years later and I am filled with immense gratitude

You gave me my first chance at love and removed yourself because you were not needed

You gave me the blueprint of what not to look for, My prototype

Although you broke me down, I built myself back up

I now know my worth and so does the man who made me his wife

Wherever you are I hope you’re happy, blessed, and in love

Just like I am

If I could talk to you one last time I’d say,

“Thank you for setting me free

So another could lift me up,

Once I came into the person I was meant to be.”

Signed-

The Heart You Broke So Long Ago

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Kaya Curlin is a wife, mother, army veteran, and writer. She has a Bachelors degree in Criminal Justice and also working on a Masters in Marketing. Most of her writing can be found on her Wordpress blog Melanin Way Of Life and also under her Instagram Melanin Way Of Life.